Not really, but that’s how I’m feeling right now.
So I have 2 best friends from high school. Technically they are best friends and I am the 3rd wheel who got added on to give our group numbers in our tiny class. But it’s generally worked out.
Obviously, coming to college changes some things. I came to Boston College in Chestnut Hill just outside the city, and I live on the bubble-like campus. One friend stayed in Worcester (the outgoing, bubbly, flirty one) to be a nursing student, so it’s not very easy to hang out with her unless we go home. The other friend (the sarcastic, funny, sometimes mean one) also came to the Boston area, although she’s actually in the city, but she’s only like 5 or 6 T stops away from me, but with conflicting schedules it still isn’t easy to plan.
But really, it seems like something continually gets in our way, and she makes no effort to make things better.
Take, for example, last year. I went home and hung out a bit with the one friend, and then had a series of adventures visiting the other. I went to her Sign Language choir performance, I got lost driving there and then got a parking ticket, and I always hang out with her friends and roommates. Like, that’s dedication to our friendship.
But then, look at them. The two of them came to visit me only once, together, and the Boston one brought her roommate. And there was quite bad planning on my part I admit (it was the dayof the Notre Dame vs. BC football game and it rained), but they also came 2 hours later than we originally decided, didn’t want to see any part of my campus or friends, and then we ate at Applebee’s so they could be close to the T and book it out.
And then this, the first week we moved back to school, I went and visited the Bosotn one at her school and we ate out and I came back. And then once the Worcester friend had come out and I again had to go out to see them so one could go shopping (I was leaving right afterwards though to see family).
It’s just a little lopsided, in my opinion.
And yeah, we hung out a ton during the summer when I wasn’t at camp, and it was great. Even though we have changed a lot (some more than others, and me the least), very little anout the dynamic between us ever changes, so it’s always fun.
But now, I doubt if I can ever get them to come see me. Like I’m not worth it to them. I mean, I don’t really expect the one nursing friend to make the trek out here all the time, but the other is like not interested in making things work!
Like, she was supposed to come visit me this afternoon and I was going to make her something vegan to eat, because that’s what she is, although she mentioned something about her roommate coming again. But I said whatever because I want her to come see my new dorm suite. And then I mentioned that my roommate is in a production of The Good Body (a series of monologues along the lines of the Vagina Monologues) and maybe she’d like to go. She was up for it and immediately asked if she could bring more friends and suggested we eat out. Only a little peeved, I told her it was fine. But then when we were trying to set specific times when she was getting here, she said her roommate had a 4:30 hair appointment, and that they might have to meet me at the theatre before the show and we could eat dinner after the show. By this point, I was getting kind of sad, and just agreed. Of course, when talking today, she said she had to work late and couldn’t come.
Which is how it always is, and probably always will be. I bend over backwards for the few people I care about, and get ignored for it. Maybe the conversation would have been a little different had we actually been talking rather than texting, but whatever. And since our schedules conflict tomorrow (she has some work event and I’m meeting John Krasinski), we are making tentative plans for next Saturday. Which I doubt will come to fruition.
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
